The most cringe-worthy Christmas cracker jokes have been selected in a poll of Brits.

The most grown-inducing cracker joke ever, according to the survey, is: “Who hides in a bakery at Christmas? A mince spy!”

That cringeworthy offering is followed by: “What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas cracker!”.

Another top rib-tickler from the survey is: “What is a horse’s favourite TV show? NEIGH-bours!”

Despite the quality of gags, most Brits remain enthusiastic about the pull of Christmas crackers and 75% say they enjoy reading out the jokes at the Christmas dinner table.

The research was carried out by Currys PC World to find the country’s worst Christmas cracker jokes.

‘A traditional Christmas cracker gag’

Comedian Gary Delaney said: “Everyone knows that a traditional Christmas cracker gag is weaker than your Nan’s Wi-Fi password and I’ve been pulled in to help change that. I am hoping my joke upgrades will have Brits cracking up around the country on Christmas Day.”

Researchers also found that one in three Brits say that a Christmas cracker is one of the festive traditions they secretly love along with Christmas music and carols and cheesy Christmas jumpers.

More than two in three of us say that crackers will be part of the normal Christmas Day for them.

However, eight in 10 families say they only pull Christmas crackers because they are in keeping with festive traditions.

Brits say they feel disappointed by cracker jokes

And around six in 10 Brits say they feel disappointed by their cracker joke with half of these people saying ‘there’s room for improvement’.

And, in true British style, one in five of us say we only laugh when we hear a Christmas cracker gag ‘out of politeness’.

On average, we will pull four crackers this Christmas and one in five of us will enjoy the free gift that’s inside.

The most popular Christmas cracker gift is a mini torch, followed by a set of small screwdrivers.

Other popular gifts include puzzles, bottle openers and a flipping frog toy.

Around two in three say they keep their Christmas cracker gift because they believe it ‘may come in useful one day’.

The 50 most groan-inducing cracker jokes

So, according to researchers, these are the 50 most groan-inducing cracker jokes ever – just remember they are part of the UK’s Christmas traditions!

  1. Who hides in a bakery at Christmas? A mince spy
  2. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker
  3. What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neigh-bours
  4. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick
  5. Why do birds fly south in the winter? It’s too far to walk
  6. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsillitis
  7. What did Cinderella say when her photos didn’t arrive? “One day my prints will come!”
  8. Did Rudolph go to school? No, he was elf-taught
  9. What lies at the bottom of the sea shivering? A nervous wreck
  10. Who is Santa’s favourite singer? Elfis Presley
  11. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve.
  12. How many letters are in the alphabet at Christmas? 25 – there’s no-el
  13. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? Because they always drop their needles
  14. What did the farmer get for Christmas? A cowculator
  15. Why did nobody bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? They were two deer
  16. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? “Can you smell carrots?”
  17. Why can’t a bike stand up by itself? It’s two-tyred
  18. What school subject are snakes best at? Hisssstory
  19. What do you get if you lie under a cow? A pat on the head
  20. How did Mary and Joseph figure out baby Jesus was exactly 7lb 9oz? They had a weigh in a manger
  21. Which side of a turkey has the most feathers? The outside
  22. What carol do they sing in the desert? O Camel Ye Faithful
  23. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence
  24. What do you sing a snowman’s birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow
  25. What happened to Santa when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker
  26. Who’s Rudolph’s favourite singer? Beyon-sleigh
  27. Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws
  28. What athlete is warmest in winter? A long jumper
  29. What’s the most popular Christmas wine? “I don’t like sprouts!”
  30. What does a frog do if his car breaks down? He has it toad
  31. Why does your nose get tired in winter? It runs all day
  32. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite
  33. What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut? A barber-queue
  34. What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap
  35. What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson
  36. Why was the turkey in a band? He was the only one with drumsticks
  37. What do reindeer put on their Christmas trees? Hornaments
  38. What happened to the man who stole an advent calendar? He got 25 days
  39. What does Santa do when his elves misbehave? He gives them the sack
  40. What happened when Santa got stuck in a chimney? He felt Claus-trophobic
  41. What has four wheels and flies? A bin lorry
  42. How do snowmen get around? By riding an icicle
  43. How did Scrooge win the football match? The ghost of Christmas passed
  44. Why is it getting so hard to buy advent calendars? Their days are numbered
  45. Why was Cinderella no good at football? Because her coach was a pumpkin
  46. How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey? On the dark side
  47. What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps
  48. When do vampires like horse racing? When it’s neck and neck
  49. How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited? He keeps a logbook
  50. What does a football team do when the pitch is flooded? Bring on the subs.